PARSHAT YITRO: STAY CURIOUS!
In Tribute to Rabbi Dr. Abraham J. Twerski, zt”l
In 2018, when I interviewed Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twerski, who passed away this week, he made a striking assertion: gazing back at his life from his 88-year-old perch, he asked, reflectively, what he would do if given the chance to live his life over again.
His answer: “I would do exactly what I did!”
Dr. Twerski spoke and wrote often about the importance of healthy self-esteem, and its distinction from the character defect of hubris. Certainly he was not expressing any sense of arrogance in his response to me.
What, then, rested behind his self-assured sentiment? More importantly, what quality or qualities did this great man possess that allowed him to live such a rich and full life?
Not many Torah Portions are named for an individual person, much less a proselyte like Yitro, Moshe’s father-in-law. (Consider that not even Moshe himself enjoyed such a distinction!)
What possibly could Yitro have done to earn this honor? Moreover, why did he, of all people, hasten to join the Jewish People as they prepared to receive the Torah? Surely many others had heard of the nation’s miraculous ascent from Egypt and should have considered joining!
The Midrash clues us in. Commenting on Yitro’s statement that, “Now I know that the Lord is greater than all the deities,” it reveals the backstory: “Yitro was knowledgeable about every type of idolatry in the world, and there was no pagan deity that he did not worship.”
Yitro was a perpetual seeker. He hunted truth relentlessly until finally he was satisfied with the G-d and the People of Israel. Yitro was irrepressibly curious!
I believe that today we suffer from an acute “curiosity crisis,” on two pols. Some people simply do not care enough about ideas to pursue them and follow them to their logical conclusions. I would term this “apathy.” In contrast, others care immensely, but are so convinced that they have already attained the answers that they cease searching. Worse yet, they condemn those who have arrived at alternate conclusions, breeding “antipathy.”
This apathy-or-antipathy dichotomy has infected so many corners of our culture, at both extremes: people either tolerate shallowness, or they vilify their ideological adversaries.
Imagine a world in which people were perpetually curious. My neighbor’s unfamiliar opinion would offer a springboard for conversation. In the final analysis, I might maintain my original position, but I also might replace, or at least refine, it. Minimally, I would preserve my basic respect for the “other.”
As Dr. Twerski was wont to point out, those who are most secure with their convictions – those in possession of self-esteem – welcome challenges and reasonable discourse. They are also disposed to modifying their beliefs upon new or better information, more convincing arguments, or life experience. This humility is a result of healthy self-regard, and is the antithesis of the hostility endemic to our contemporary environment.
In the Jewish arena, I often lament that so many parents experience Judaism only vicariously, through their children in Hebrew School or other such engagements. Invariably, this leaves many adults with a juvenile impression of our very substantive Faith. But a curious soul will not settle for a vicarious or subordinate connection to his or her spiritual inheritance.
Dr. Twerski lived a remarkable life. At the time I interviewed him, he was 88 years old, and had authored 84 books! These included myriad works on popular psychology, in which he sought to destigmatize mental illness and addiction in the Jewish community; a trilogy in collaboration with Charles Schultz, analyzing the Peanuts comics; and a catalogue of religious works, harmonizing his Chassidic warmth and wit with brilliant scholarship and a hard-won worldliness.
In his own Torah commentary, “Twerski on Chumash,” Dr. Twerski underscores the centrality of curiosity, relating it to our current Portion. Early in the reading, Yitro suggests that Moshe establish a court system, delegating out the torrent of routine cases, thereby freeing him to focus on the most intractable disputes. Moshe implements this suggestion, but we are left wondering: could he not have come up with this efficient solution himself?
Dr. Twerski answers that, clearly Moshe could have conceived of this idea, but the Torah specifically wanted to demonstrate his readiness to learn from any person. “Regardless of how wise and learned a person may be,” he writes, “one should always be willing to learn from, and to consult with, someone of lesser stature…We should be…always teachable.” And, lest one worry that such a posture demeans one’s self-esteem, he adds, “People with a healthy ego have no problem asking anyone for advice.”
As a psychiatrist for some-sixty years, and a consummate “student of the mind,” Dr. Twerski certainly was aware of the research connecting curiosity to achievement and longevity. For example, Trinity College psychology professor Ian Richardson writes that, “Intellectually curious people tend to achieve more in life. And more importantly they live longer.”
But as a student of the Torah – and of his illustrious forebears – Dr. Twerski grasped this truth long before he set foot in the halls of academia. Given his disposition towards lifelong learning, it is no wonder that he reached into his tenth decade, profoundly productive till the end.
Dr. Twerski bequeathed so many gifts to the Jewish community and to the world. Most of us would be hard-pressed to replicate his authorial output or even his other signature life achievements. But certainly we can emulate his inquisitiveness, his abiding love of learning and growing and working to change himself and the society he encountered. Yechi zichro baruch – may his memory be for a blessing.
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